He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
