i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize