her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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