he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
