I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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