Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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