return my video game
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
