I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
