You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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