I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
