Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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