hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
