This is the prime rib incident all over again
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
