we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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