Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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