New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
