Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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