No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm sobbing to NWA
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
