I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
