Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
