i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
