I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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