didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
