my vag is so smooth its legendary
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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