That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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