I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize