The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
