he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
