so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am available for nakedness
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