People with herpes should wear stickers.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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