After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
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Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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