I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
