No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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