She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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