I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
