The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
