You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
