Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
