Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
