Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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