I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize