If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
