it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
