You're so nebulous sometimes
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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