New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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