I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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