He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
