So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
