Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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