that's an acceptable place to lick
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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