u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
