I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
